My Slow and Steady Journey Toward Trust
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from you. Truly you are my rock and my salvation; you are my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on you; you are my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in God at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:5-8 (Personalized)
These words powerfully capture the longing of my heart. And likely yours. To live a life deeply rooted in the person and purposes of God. A life that is peaceful. Hopeful. Steady. Secure. Resolved. Honest.
My struggle stays the same - aligning my life with my longing. As deeply as I believe and desire to trust God, my belief is too easily and way too often hijacked by all kinds of things - whether it be my internal fears or my external circumstances.
Last Sunday I began teaching a series called Deeply Rooted: Experiencing Life with God, People and Place. I always enjoy the freshness of beginning a new series. It's designed around the thought that our life with God will change us deeply – but not when we talk about it in ways detached from life – only when we experience it and live it out in real ways, among real people and in real places. Psalm 62 was the grounding passage I turned to in describing what a life deeply rooted in God looks like.
One would hope that such a solid beginning would carry me through my week on a surging wave of remarkable trust. After all I believe these things - I believe them at the core of my being. I even get to teach these things! But as my week unfolded I faced a series of challenging circumstances and conversations that left me restless, fearful and vulnerable. Sound familiar? My Sunday-strong faith was a little shaken. We're talking 3 days! So much for a surging wave of remarkable trust.
So I've returned to Psalm 62 a couple of times this week - pouring out my heart to God. Again confessing my stubborn self-sufficiency. Again surrendering my need for safety, approval, control and the ability to change my circumstances. Again affirming my complete trust in Him. And again experiencing God gently restoring my perspective and peace...
So I continue to learn on my journey toward trust:
- That trust is not a once-and-done kind of thing. It's a daily dependence;
- That my belief in God's purposes and providence (as foundational and solid as it is) doesn't sustain my trust by itself. I must emotionally give myself to what I believe. As the Psalm says so well, I must "pour out my heart to him";
- That whenever I turn to God for rest and refuge, His arms are always wide open;
- And that this journey of becoming deeply rooted in God, while slow and steady, is worthwhile and wonderful.
Slow and steady,