Living Peacefully with Desire
I've been thinking more about desire in recent months. I'm part of a group of men who want to keep our hearts alive to God. We began by talking about the desires we would love to see God satisfy. No surprise that mine are closely connected to my season of life.
- My children and their families love and follow Christ
- Verna and I live deeply and generously in this new season of our lives
- My teaching remain meaningful and relevant as I age
- Our home be a safe refuge for people to experience spiritual conversation and direction into our latter years
- The church I serve will continue our journey to be a people/place defined by a winsome spiritual vitality and Kingdom-like, missional living
But in naming them so clearly I've noticed how easily my desires drift toward discontent. Desire raises my hope of 'something better' - something I long for. But desire must flourish in the presence of my limitations, frustration and failure. When I don't see my desires being fulfilled in the ways or time I hoped, my heart begins it's familiar slide from disappointment toward discontent.
I read something recently that filled me with hope. Waiting upon God's provision - not seeing His provision - is the place where my dependence upon Him is refined and deepended. Waiting asks me to trust God with the things I dream about and most deeply desire - without demanding them now. It asks me to live peacefully in the tension between desire and dependence. The place of faith.
Father give me the desires of my heart.
When I feel disheartened by what I don't yet see - give me peacefulness as I learn to live better in this tension between desire and dependence. Awaken me not only to my desires, but to you and your desires for me.
And in those places where I can't see a way forward - surprise me.
Until then enable me to desire with a patient faith...
Fighting for your heart,